Monday, March 15, 2010

The Color Of Magic


"It has been remarked before that those who are sensitive to the radiations in the far octarine - the eighth color, the pigment of the Imagination - can see things that others cannot.

Thus it was that Rincewind, hurrying through the crowded, flare-lit evening bazaars of Morpork with the Luggage trundling behind him, jostled a tall dark figure, turned to deliver a few suitable curses, and beheld Death.

It had to be Death. No one else went around with empty eye sockets and, of course, the scythe over one shoulder was another clue. As Rincewind stared in horror a courting couple, laughing at some private joke, walked straight through the apparition without appearing to notice it.

Death, insofar as it was possible in a face with no movable features, looked surprised.

RINCEWIND? Death said, in tones as deep and heavy as the slamming of leaden doors, far underground.

"Um," said Rincewind, trying to back away from that eyeless stare.

BUT WHY ARE YOU HERE? (Boom, boom went crypt lids, in the worm haunted fastnesses under old mountains . . . )

"Um, why not?" said Rincewind. "Anyway, I'm sure you've got lots to do, so if you'll just-"

I WAS SURPRISED THAT YOU JOSTLED ME, RINCEWIND, FOR I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THEE THIS VERY NIGHT.

"Oh no, not-"

OF COURSE, WHAT'S SO BLOODY VEXING ABOUT THE WHOLE BUSINESS IS THAT I WAS EXPECTING TO MEET THEE IN PSEPHOPOLOLIS.

"But that's five hundred miles away!"

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME. THE WHOLE SYSTEM'S GOT SCREWED UP AGAIN, I CAN SEE. LOOK, THERE'S NO CHANCE OF YOU-?


Rincewind backed away, hands spread protectively in front of him. The dried fish salesman on a nearby stall watched this madman with interest.

"Not a chance!"

I COULD LEND YOU A VERY FAST HORSE.

"No!"

IT WON'T HURT A BIT.

"No!" Rince wind turned and ran. Death watched him go, and shrugged bitterly.

SOD YOU, THEN, Death said. He turned, and noticed the fish salesman. With a snarl Death reached out a bony finger and stopped the man's heart, but he didn't take much pride in it.

The Death remembered what was due to happen later that night. It would not be true to say that Death smiled, because in any case His features were perforce frozen in a calcareous grin. But He hummed a little tun, cheery as a plague pit, and - pausing only to extract the life from a passing mayfly, and one ninth of the lives from a cat cowering under the fish stall (all cats can see into the octarine) - Death turned on His heel and set off towards the Broken Drum."

- Terry Pratchet, The Color Of Magic, 1989.

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