"And that's another thing they don't like on airlines. Jokes. 'You can't joke about a bomb!' Well, why is it just jokes? What about a riddle? How about a limerick? A bomb anecdote? You know, no punch line, just a really cute story. Or, what if you wanted to remark, not really as a joke, but more as an ironic musing? Are they prepared to make that distinction? Why, I think not! And besides, who's to say what's funny?

Airport security is a stupid idea, it's a waste of money, and it's only there for one reason; to make people feel safe, to give the illusion of safety.

Because they know they can't make airplanes completely safe. Too many people have access. You notice the drug smugglers don't seem to have a lot of trouble getting their little packages on board, do they?

No, and God bless them, too.

Oh, and by the way, an airplane flight shouldn't be completely safe. You need a little danger in your life. Take a fuckin' chance once and a while, will ya? What are you gonna do, play with your prick for another 30 years? What, are you gonna read People magazine and eat at Wendy's until the end of time? Take a fuckin' chance.

And besides, even if we did make airports completely safe, the terrorists would simply find other places that are crowded; porn shops, crack houses, titty bars, and gang bangs. You know, entertainment venues.

The odds of you being killed by a terrorist are practically 0. So, I say relax and enjoy the show." - George Carlin